MBR – My story

MBR – My story

Matrix Birth Reimprinting is one of the most beautiful and powerful healing techniques I have had the privilege of working with. Here is a session that I did with a colleague around the birth of my daughter Jaeda. We established that Jeanne was in labour.  Tuning in to how she was feeling – she felt devastated as she had just been told that labour was not progressing, that there were some complications and she would have to have a Caesar. We spent some time working with her in this space and supporting her to release the fear, shock, disappointment. We also spent some time working with Linden as he was experiencing a lot of shock and sadness and feeling helpless in the face of his wife’s emotions and his own worry about his baby. What came up was that she couldn’t have what she wanted. When we asked when was the first time she had experienced this she replied 3 years old.  We went down the timeline and found the 3 year old Jeanne.  She was feeling really angry and helpless and upset about something – really not sure what it was and couldn’t get and answer.  So we worked with her feelings around it and supported her to feel better and let this go. When we introduced colour into the session we asked her what colour would support her to feeling better and more empowered , she wanted to roll around in a rainbow.  What a joy she experienced.  And was there anything she wanted that would help her feel that she could get what she wanted and...
Jaeda, school and eft.

Jaeda, school and eft.

We have all heard the expression that if we want to change something then to look to ourselves first. I know this well and yet so often forget the truth of it. The power of this thought and using EFT recently had an enormous impact on how I was handling my child at her new school and the impact on the family all round has been so profound that I really wanted to share this with you. Jaeda started grade 1 this year and although there are some aspects of school she really enjoys, there are some parts that she really is struggling to adapt to – and the main one is homework. She and I hit rock bottom nearly every afternoon with her so called 20 minutes turning into a slog and battle and a lot longer than 20 minutes. I started dreading homework time. I felt huge anger and frustration and resentment towards the school. It was unfair and wrong to put my child into a homework routine at the age of 6 and in grade.  I judged the school and their policies and soon found fault with almost everything they did. And yet felt helpless and hopeless to change it – apart from taking her out of school and then what??? And so my children started to experience school as difficult, challenging and every morning we battled with them not wanting to go. They both became angry and defensive and resistant. And Josh is only 5 and in play school but even that was proving to be too much for him. I tried tapping on them,...
EFT and Fright with kids

EFT and Fright with kids

This morning got off to a heady start. As I was charging off to school with my young children singing hadida songs at the top of our lungs, we were brought down to earth in a staggering and shocking way. I hit a man on a bike. Terrifying. No other way around it. He rolled over the top of my car, his bike underneath. It turned out he was unhurt except for shock and a graze on his arm and knee and he climbed back on his bike and rode off. I think the anger sustained him for his ride home. My children and I however were pretty shaken. Josh, only 5 was terrified I would be carted off by the police never to be seen again. Jaeda, 7, said” the fright is in my whole body Mummy. I decided that I’d bring in normality as quickly as I can so continued onto school and did BORROWING BENEFITS While driving, I had Jaeda tap on my hand and squeeze my fingers telling her that I needed her help. While she was tapping I had both of them repeating after me telling them it was for my help so that I could feel calmer and drive safely. Within 5 minutes they were both much calmer, as was I, able to talk about it more easily. Josh even reprimanded me for not concentrating and challenged me to take more responsibility. After dropping Josh off I was able to work with Jaeda and colour. It was fascinating how much she had remembered and absorbed after watching me do a session with her...
There’s more to it than babies

There’s more to it than babies

Jeanne and I went through four year of trying to fall pregnant.  Like many, we started naturally – having more sex and trying to have it at the right time.  After a good many months of this, and not being pregnant, we looked around for other options.  We went to naturopaths and homeopaths, drank Chinese medicine and meditated.  We changed our diets and our thought patterns.  When these options didn’t work either, we took the step to look at medical options.  Tests, scans and an operation or two later we still had no luck, and started IVF. After a few rounds of IVF we shifted again, this time doing IVF using donor eggs. Looking back now, those were a very long four years filled with intense emotion, stress and obsession.  Going through the process Jeanne and I had one focus – falling pregnant and having a baby.  And yet with hindsight I now realise that we got a lot of other things out of those four years. My relationship with Jeanne and understanding of her grew in ways that would never have occurred if we had not gone through the process together.  My connection to my broader family and friends was deepened as I chose to open up to them, and asked them to step up in terms of supporting us.  I gained huge insight into the way I work- my thinking habits and way of processing situations.  I learnt things about my body and how to work with it. So while the fertility process was about falling pregnant, I can now see that it impacted on other areas...
My Story

My Story

I never thought that I would have a problem falling pregnant.  When I was younger I was terrified of missing my period and was very conscious of trying very hard not to. When I was 26 I fell pregnant and it came as a big surprise. Having Emma and being a single mum was a loving, learning and trying time of my life. Then I met and married Linden when I was 40 and we wanted to have children together. 2 years of really ‘trying’ led us to explore some medical support and answers. First was the laparoscopy which proved that although I had a slight blockage in my left fallopian tube, there was no medical reason why I could not have a baby. So began the journey onto Clomid, Homeopathy, Chinese remedies, herbal remedies, acupuncture, Chiropractor treatments…. which led to IVF and then to donor egg IVF. After 4 years of intense fertility treatments and many doctors later, I finally fell pregnant on my 6th and last round of IVF with Jaeda. It was the most wonderful day of my life when Dr Dhansay called to say “you won’t believe this – it is positive!” I was with my Mum and Linden was away on the farm – miles away. Suddenly all we had been through was gone – the pain, the tears, the anguish, the longing. Jaeda was born by emergency caesarean (my plans for natural birth not working out even though the room next had a birthing pool and midwife waiting)- a healthy beautiful baby girl.  This earth mother had learnt many lessons, been humbled, reduced...
Body-Mind approach to infertility

Body-Mind approach to infertility

By James Schwartz Can Our Thoughts And Feelings Create Infertility? Nearly seven million women in the U.S. have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. That means that according to Western Medicine there is no physiological reason why these women can’t conceive.  The question then becomes: if the physical body is not the cause, could it be that the missing factor might be somewhere in the mental and emotional realms? In our society it is commonly acknowledged that psychosomatic disharmonies could be related to physical malfunctions in the body.  For example, someone under tremendous stress might experience symptoms such as high blood pressure, heart disease, migraine headaches, insomnia, or back spasms, but infertility has always been considered primarily a physiological issue.  However, in the last two decades, several scientific studies have challenged that supposition, and the majority of those studies support the belief that the mind/body connection is a vital part of the conception process. In just one area of infertility research-the affects of distress on the success rates of In-Vitro (IVF) procedures-there have been fourteen studies.  Ten of those studies found a very clear connection between distress and decreased pregnancy rates, and two more of those studies showed a trend or tendency toward decreased pregnancy rates. How can emotional issues, such as feelings of distress, create infertility?  It is deep within the subconscious mind where all of the emotional issues and blocks related to infertility are stored.  The subconscious mind holds our habits, beliefs, behavioral patterns, anxieties and fears that we have been accumulating since birth.  Then, as adults, when we experience emotions like anxiety, sadness, fear or anger, we...
Linden and Jeanne

Linden and Jeanne

In our fertility process I found dealing with family and friends stressful.  I am an up front kind of guy – so I did not keep our journey secret, and shared openly with my family and friends our process and what we were going through.  Sharing my journey with them for me was easy – but dealing with their varied responses was the hard work.  In particular dealing with their responses every time we had an unsuccessful attempt at conceiving, either through natural cycles or through IVF, was tough on me. When we received a negative result, we would grieve.  Our grief had many emotions – as it always does – including sadness, anger, frustration, resignation and at times despair.  And eventually it would be processed, and we would return to acceptance and facing the decision as to what road forward. When we are with someone who is grieving, we all respond differently.  And with our family and friends we had almost the full range of reactions. Some people felt the grief and sadness strongly themselves – crying, sadness, depression. Some tried to make us feel better – “It will all be ok”, “ There is a reason for this, even if you cannot see it now”, or “Don’t worry, you can always try again.” Some gave us advice – “All you need to do is relax more”, “Next time you need to meditate or pray more”, “ Don’t be so stressed”. Some told us stories – “ When cousin Jenny was going through this she drank wine every night and fell pregnant”, or “ My secretary fell pregnant...
Never again without Jeanne

Never again without Jeanne

I wanted to share with you my experience of having Jeanne as a Doula with me on my journey to parenthood.  Actually she was with “us” – as she was as much a support to Jaco as she was to me. Dr. Odendaal suggested I go to Jeanne for some energy work (there were some issues that had come up for me on an emotional level that Dr. Odendaal thought Jeanne could help with), and then she became my doula as well during the end of my pregnancy when I was confined to bedrest. Jeanne was a life-saver during this time. She came to give me weekly massages and she inevitably stayed for 2 hours or longer and we would get to talk about everything! As interested as Jaco was in the whole process, there are some things you really can only talk to a woman about as your body (and you) go through this huge transformation. And also – asking friends and family members is fine, but it really is better to have someone knowledgeable AND objective to advise you. And Gynaes just don’t have time for all this. Even if your pregnancy is a completely normal one, the doula will see you more frequently in the last trimester as you have more questions and as you prepare for the birth. Near my due date Jeanne went through the whole labour process with both Jaco and myself in great detail. There was a fair amount I knew – I wanted to go to the hospital for the birth, I didn’t want to use any pain killers, I wanted...
How to be a good friend.

How to be a good friend.

Here is a great blog from someone that was on a fertility journey, and wanted to share advice for family and friends! (http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/2004/05/how_to_be_good_.html) “I have quite a few ‘normal’ friends (i.e. not infertile) who read this blog. (I am so far out the closet it is frightening, even my brother and ex flirts read this blog). Imagine how confusing most of the lingo must be for them. Anyhow. Back to the point of this post. One of those friends said to me “I wish you would write about how to be a good friend to an infertile person”. Which is really sweet of her and shows she has already passed one of the requirements. So I started thinking about writing a post on this and realized what a hard task this is. How do you become a Good Friend to an Infertile? Firstly, I have to say that this being a Good Friend to someone struggling to an Infertile is not an easy job at all. It is a job with fluid parameters, a thankless job sometimes and one where it might appear that no matter how hard you try, you never seem to get it right. There are times when you will be extremely busy and the job is very demanding. There are other times where you will benched, forced to sit on the outside looking in. There is not often any logic in this change of demand. Be aware of the volatility of work pressure when applying for this job. It is not a decision to be taken lightly. Secondly, there is not a universal job description,...